Velvet Bricks


“We need to become velvet bricks,” Elmore says, “soft on the outside and hard on the inside and allow children to fail while they are young in order to succeed when they are adults.”

Maybe not the best quote to start with but I thought it would evoke an interesting response!  The article in the Huffington Post made a case for the reality of what we thought was kindness in raising a generation (maybe more than one generation), and instead did a great dis-service for more kids than not.  A very interesting article indeed, with some lively comments!  I am assuming a wide range of ages that have read this blog.  I would love to hear readers’ opinions on this subject.  What do you think?

Read the full article “Are We Raising A Generation Of Helpless Kids?”



  1. I worked with Tim Elmore when he was helping “Emerging Young Leaders” here in Colorado. (A long time ago.) I guess good methods never go away?
    I think there are more reasons for the compulsive need for instant gratification than those described in this article – but it is good that people are trying to work on it.
    It is related to the false idea that “loving” someone means that everyone always feels good.

  2. I totally agree with this post. It is easier to bail our children out of trouble than to watch them struggle through it. But, we do our kids a disservice because they don’t learn how to work through their problems; instead, they continue to look for mom and dad to bail them out. An example of this is when my daughter and her husband wanted to buy an expensive car just after they married. We knew they could not afford it but they would not listen to us. Within six months, they were having trouble making the payments. They came to us for money! We could have easily helped them but wanted them to figure things out themselves. Unfortunately, they had to down-grade…they traded in the car for a less expensive one. After a few more blunders, they finally learned that it does not pay to live above your means.

    As a teenager, in high school, I worked at a restaurant for minimum wage. My father made me give him $15 a paycheck for room and board. I resented him for this because I knew he didn’t need the money….how dare him take my hard earned money! On my wedding day he told me he had done that, so that, I would learn to part money for bills that had to be paid. All the time, he was teaching me responsibility. Best lessons are learned the hard way!

  3. Yes I feel that working for anything these days is not a goal held dear, too much entitlement is not enriching for anyone !

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